Internal Medicine... Ramblings of a third year medical student

Morning Report... nobody is actually listening. 

Finally, the much anticipated rotation is here: internal medicine. I have been looking forward to this rotation since... Forever. Why? Because I would actually be doing what I believed I would be doing for the next 4 years. Internal medicine is the stepping stone for two of the things I like the most in Medicine: endocrinology (hormones) and hematology/oncology (blood and cancer).

Behold, the apocalyptic hospital beckoning me at ungodly hours. 
But the reality has been quite the opposite from what I expected. Reality has been quite... anticlimactic. I have basically been running around the halls of the hospital, moving on from my sedentary lifestyle to going up and down stairs, looking for records, writing the progress note and...that's it. We are not allowed to do much there, just follow the residents and the attending physician. Basically, annoy them to no end with our questions on how to write the damn progress notes. I guess I can't complain much, since I don't really have to answer any questions because questions here are directed to the residents and interns, and we obviously know nothing.  I have to get up at 5am to be able to get to the morning report at 7am (where we don't actually learn anything because we are too sleepy to function), and then we get out at approximately 4pm. It doesn't sound like much but I get home absolutely exhausted. To top things off, no real endocrinology (although diabetes is rampant) and no hematology/oncology cases... Yet.

I need to buy this book. Notice my emerald nail polish. 
So all my dreams are sort of crumbling down at the moment. To be fair, it's my first week. One pro to my list of cons is the fact that my attending physician may be (on the risk of sounding borderline) the best in the world. I have never encountered such a caring doctor. He combs the hair of the patients, rubs their backs, gives them massages, holds their hands, I mean, I'm on the verge of tears every time I see/hear him talk to the patients. And that, my friends, is totally worth it. Plus he takes his sweet time explaining EVERYTHING to us which is fantastic for us, and really bad for the residents who just want to finish and get the hell out of there to study. Which reminds me, I have to go back to studying. :(

What I should be doing, instead I am here, letting out my frustrations. 

But I feel I miss OB-Gyn, I miss psychiatry... And now I don't know what to do with myself. One contrast I see is the feeling I got when going to the OB-Gyn rotation. I don't know if it was my group of classmates or what, but it didn't matter how early I had to get up, I always found myself with energy to last me throughout the day, even into the night until my shift was over at 11pm. Also, going to the psychiatric hospital was amazing, no rush, no stress, everything just felt good. Here I am stressed, annoyed and I don't want to be there at all. I don't know if it's me and perhaps I just need iron supplements, but I just have no strength! We'll see what happens.

The "doctor" is in. :) 

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