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30.12.12

German Christmas pt. 8

Next thing I knew, it was Christmas. Well, Christmas Eve to be more exact. They don't really celebrate the actual Christmas day here but they make the party the 24th. So I awoke to a hectic house. Preparations. Preparations. Preparations. In Mr.J's house they have a preparty party, where the mom makes lots of cake, lots of coffee and gifts and conversation are exchanged.
As I made myself ready I could hear all the drama downstairs but I was glad I didn't understand what was going on. The German was too fast for me and my vocabulary never seems to be enough. Some of what I did understand was that the mom told Mr.J's sister to get some chairs from upstairs, she didn't want to and told Mr.J to do it but Mr.J was too busy figuring out how the iron worked so he could iron his pants. A lot of scary angry German language ensued and thus I experienced true fear. You have never experienced fear until you've experienced Germans yelling at each other over God-knows-what.
But things calmed down and I went downstairs as soon as I heard the first guests at the door. Soon the house was full of laughter, cake, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and Lotti, Mr.J's dog.lotti was dressed as Santa Claus and spent the afternoon trying to avoid Lutzi the Pug who also came to visit. Apparently they are mortal enemies.
I spent the afternoon trying to understand what people were saying and it was exhausting. I don't think my brain could take it anymore. But also, I spent the afternoon cooking the turkey for the night. I had seen the huge turkey the night before and thought that we should take it out but Mr.J said no and by the time it arrived to the house the next day it was still frozen. I thought we would need a Christmas miracle if we wanted to eat that day but an hour later the turkey was ready to be prepared and put in the oven. Mr.J had asked me how we prepare the turkey in Puerto Rico and of course because I had never actually done this I had to ask my mom. After I told Mr.J how we actually do it he felt the Germans wouldn't want the ridiculous amount of garlic we use. I'm not gonna lie, I was a bit offended! Why would he ask me how to prepare the turkey if he didn't want to use my techniques? By the time we had to prepare the turkey he realized how silly he was and we put some garlic. It smelled delicious. We also incorporated a technique we use in Puerto Rico and that is taking an injection and injecting the turkey with its own juices. Every 30 min we did this and so it occupied most of the afternoon.
Then came Christmas dinner which is held at the house of Mr.J's sister. I wasn't hungry. I had a cheesecake binge during the day! So while the turkey cooked some more I played with Mr.J's niece.

















26.12.12

German Christmas pt. 7

Continuing on with the good stories, coming back to Werne was like coming back home. I felt comfortable, everything felt familiar and good. I wanted to be here and it felt like I was always supposed to come here.
I was greeted by Lotti, the Italian mutt. She doesn't speak italian though! She happily barked and I was so glad to see her. It felt like I was cheating on Mr.Baby. But I was also so glad to see everybody else and to be greeted in such a warm way like the Puerto Ricans do, people actually glad to see you back. It felt like happiness.
The next day we had to get up super early so we could have time to visit Aachen. Today was the only day people actually could come with us and before the Christmas Markets closed on the 23rd. It was early so there was no sunlight yet, but I was full of expectations of what awaited me in Aachen, a city I had not seen when I was studying in Germany. I was also filled with the thrill of the new adventure. By the time we arrived to the train station, morning was upon us. Kamen has a small train station and we waited there by the bakery for a few minutes. It smelled so delicious. It served only to remind me how hard it is to carry a diet when such things like pudding pretzels covered in icing exist here. First stop was Bochum, where we met with half of the group. I was glad to meet with old friends and meet new ones. Then we took a regional train to Aachen... I remembered the first time I went to Cologne in one of these and this was the same route. These trains were always super full and this train was no exception. But we managed to find seats, which was a bit hard for one in our group who is 2 meters tall.
Two hours later we arrived at Aachen. We were greeted by the second part of the group, a beautiful couple from Vietnam. I was finally able to speak a bit more English and their German was surprisingly easier to understand. First stop there was the Lindt outlet. Let me repeat this... LINDT. OUT. LET. Chocolate outlet? I didn't even know these existed... let alone Lindt... delicious Lindt chocolate.
As we arrived there, we were supposed to smell the smell of chocolate but today it started raining and it is holidays so I couldn't smell anything. Inside the store there were all classes of Lindt chocolate I had not even seen before. I thought I wasn't going to buy anything, but these thoughts were useless as I saw there was 99% cacao chocolate which I thought my dad would love. All I did was buy chocolate to bring back home.
Next stop was another outlet. This time it was Lambertz, what Mr.J called the "kingpin of sweets in Germany". Here we bought Printen, a traditional Aachen cookie. Also Mr.J bought some Dominos cookies which are filled with marzipan, a horrible fruit jelly and a cookie, all covered in chocolate.
The day was gray and as we got out of this outlet, it started raining harder. We took a bus into town and now I could see all the old houses and traditional architecture that I was waiting to see. We decided to go eat first to this Lebanese restaurant but it was too full and the weather was too bad to go outside with the food. We kept looking and looking and everything was either full or closed. We ended up inside a mall, and ate... a burger. :) I guess with the rain and the trouble with finding a place to eat, comfort food was all we needed.
After this we carried on to the Aachen cathedral, where Charlemagne is buried. From outside it doesn't look like much and it is much smaller compared to other cathedrals like the one in Cologne. But inside, the real treasure lied. So. much. GOLD. All the ceiling was full of mosaics with real gold. Different patterns, different colors, everything was beyond beautiful. This certainly made the weather and the trek there worthwhile.
But the weather carried on. It was cold, it rained, there was no more sun. I didn't feel any more adventurous, I just wanted to go home. After looking around the Christmas market, we went home. I guess nobody was enjoying themselves anymore either. Everything was full, there was nowhere to sit and nowhere to go. We then went home.









German Christmas pt.6

Christmas time has been quite hectic and I haven't had much time to sit down and think about what I've been through. I am trying to enjoy every moment for I know that my time here is running out.
Every time I come to Germany I fall more and more in love with it. Even with its recycled toilet paper that sometimes feels like cardboard, even with it's unspoken rules of how to properly open the door and I was not aware of it, I have even gotten used to the stares! Germans love to stare.
This time, my German was perhaps a fraction better (there is still a lot of space for improvement!) and I could see how the people I had met before are even more funny than I thought. And how the people that I didn't like much before, I like now even less.
The other day I was with Mr.J and we met some of his friends at his apartment. I guess we were going to go out later but Germans meet somewhere else first to catch up and catch up on beers. So I met some of Mr.J's people and it was interesting to see how the themes we don't talk about with friends back home as to save the friendships (namely politics and religion) are pretty common topics here and people think nothing wrong with discussing and attacking other people's beliefs. Germans are so direct as to scathe. German humor is also direct and back home I would think "¿De dónde sacó éste tanta confianza para hablarme así?", but here my Puerto Rican skin would have to thicken in order not to feel offended.
There was a moment in the endless stream of German conversation that I realized they were going too fast, that I didn't understand where words began and others ended, that I didn't understand at all what they were talking about, not even the main topic. I was reminded of this episode I saw of the series "Switched at Birth". If you haven't seen it, they deal beautifully with deaf people and the problems they face. The scene I was reminded of was when the deaf kid was surrounded by hearing kids and they were all laughing and making jokes but he couldn't understand, he couldn't read lips and the camera zooms into his point of view and all sound goes out. This is how I felt at this moment. And nobody seemed to notice/mind/care.
On to nicer stories...
The next day I went back to Mr.J's hometown and it was unusually warm for this time of the year. Even though it was dark outside when we were driving, I remembered the streets and houses and I remembered the lights in the windows and the Christmas decorations. But it was not going to be a white Christmas this year like I hoped for! When we finally got home, it felt just like that... Home.


20.12.12

German Christmas pt.5





Days have gone by quickly. I try to squeeze every last bit of enjoyment to every minute that I spend here but it has been kind of hard considering I'm sick. It started out as a cold which ended up in asthma. I haven't been able to do my exercises either because who wants to do Pilates with all this sinus pressure and feeling like you were run over by a truck? Besides the amount of walking and going up stairs, I figured I am doing something at least.
I've also met some new wonderful people, and this I have enjoyed a lot. After I went back to Puerto Rico from my exchange semester I felt I needed more time in Germany. I needed to meet more people. In med school you are stuck with the same people for four years so it ends up being exactly like high school. But coming from a college with 20+ thousand students, going to a class of 65 was hard to get used to. And after going on exchange, I got addicted to meeting people from all over the world. It feels great to have had this opportunity now. Hong Kong, Taiwan, Denmark, Spain, Cuba are some of the countries that I remember of the people I met. This opportunity I would certainly not get it in Puerto Rico and much less in med school.

International Students
Something I have been doing lately despite my state of health, is shopping. Shopping is after all therapeutic, right? And after getting myself in a mall during holiday time I see no difference between Germans and PRs when it comes to shopping. We all go a little bananas. I have dragged poor Mr.J who hates crowded places to small make up stores after falling in love with a brand last year in Florence. But in one of such shopping trips I heard someone behind me say "Entschuldigung!" which is German for "Excuse me!". Thinking that I was in someone's way (as I so often am) I move to the side, but the entschuldigungs persisted. I looked back. A Turkish girl smiled behind me and proceeded to ask me where I got my jacket. I smiled and said "Nicht hier." ("not here") but Mr.J, in a very right-to-the-point German manner said "Nicht in Deutschland!" as to make the conversation shorter. He was dying to get out of H&M. But this moment made my hunt for the perfect coat all worth it.
Oberbaum Bridge
Oberbaum Bridge

Another thing we did was walk to the nearby district of Kreuzberg. We crossed the famous Oberbaumbrücke and made our way into what Mr.J calls Hipster-town. Little did I know that Kreuzberg was the place where I had stayed in my first visit to Berlin in 2009. Here the graffiti is art and hipsters were not a thing last time I was there. Kreuzberg is full of small shops selling hipster stuff. What is hipster stuff? You might be wondering. Well, ironic junk. Stuff you may find at thrift stores and a LOT of vegetarian/vegan places because here it's a thing. I drink soy milk because my intestines decided not to like lactose anymore but these people drink soy milk just because. This concept is beyond my understanding or strength so I'll leave it here. There's no understanding when it comes to why hipsters do the things they do.
Graffiti at Kreuzberg

After Kreuzberg we went by the East Side Gallery which is part of the Berlin Wall left and covered in murals. I enjoyed this quite a lot until I realized exactly how long it was, and how COLD it was and how far away the train station was. Well, I took pictures anyways. Maybe I'd enjoy the art later, in the warmth of my home.

East Side Gallery

Yesterday we spent it doing some Christmas shopping. Where Mr.J lives is also a bit of Hipster town but it is full of shops that sell you small stuff you didn't know you needed. And we went to like 20 of these little shops. I must have seen EVERY item on my Stuff I want Pinterest Board. Good thing that my loan hasn't arrived yet or I would wreak havoc.  Seriously.
Then we went to Christmas markets which I LOVE! Small little kiosks in the shape of the little houses they are selling + currywurst (Sausage smothered in curry-ketchup sauce) + shopping, count me IN! Jonas managed to get me to the expensive Christmas market in town where you have to pay 1€ to get in. Totally worth it, and I could see why they wanted to keep the bums out of this place because this market was simply magical. Some guy dressed as one of this toy soldiers was at the gate to take my ticket, some other guy selling cookies looked right into my soul and knew which cookie I wanted and offered me a hazelnut wonder cookie, and the christmas tree... oh, the tree. Everything was beautiful. And the places where you would get Glühwein (a hot wine with spices that tastes like...  hot cough syrup) are not outside like the rest of them are, they have windows and glass walls to keep the warmth in and the riffraff out. I wanted to buy all the cookies, all the nuts, all the ornaments, so everybody back home could get to see them and get a piece of Germany too. Too bad I'm a broke student.
Christmas Market Shop
I finally went to the movies to watch The Hobbit. There is a cinema here that offers the movie in English, thank GOD. Funny thing about the whole thing is not the movie but since it's so long they offer a small 15 min break in the middle of the movie. Why don't we have this back home? But these Germans are sneaky. Because the movie is extra-long, they charge you extra. AND on top of things, you have to buy your own 3D glasses?! I was outraged.
Where the Cinema is at Potsdamer Platz
Well, I better get going to wrap Mr.J's Christmas presents before he comes back. :) Until next time.









16.12.12

German Christmas pt. 4

After the odyssey to finally arrive to Berlin, the next few day have been a breeze. I have learned a thing or two about layering to try to avoid looking like a refrigerator. I woke up the next day amidst my jet lag to go with Jonas to the university. This university is a big-time university. Everything high-tech in the middle of an old building. The contrast was amazing and the warmth inside was quite welcoming. In addition, the contrast to my own school is abysmal. I sat there for a couple of hours, not understanding a thing they were talking about. Not because they were speaking German but because they were talking about math.
When the lecture was over we went to KaDeWe (Kaufhaus Des Westens) which is a glorified Macy's, but more awesome, more floors, more stuff and everything was more expensive. My UGG boots, for example, cost here a cool 299€, while I paid $40 for them. Yeah. But I got to see some wonderful brands that I never get to see at home like Tom Ford... I admired their beautiful nail polishes from afar. My favorite floor was probably the one with all the food. Yeah, I have an obsession with food, a problem if you will. They have sections of every sort of edible thing you can imagine. Sausages were never ending. As we were walking around the champagne section, I get a really bad smell all of the sudden. I look up and there it was: cheese heaven. Yet my favorite part was looking at the Germans go through the American products section where a Betty Crocker cake mix box cost about 7€ and buy it as if it was exotic and amazing. And blue cheese dressing from Wishbone was a delicacy. Why would anybody buy that when for example I bought hazelnut honey from Cypress is beyond me.
The architecture in Berlin is also interesting to look at. But the part that I enjoy the most is people watching. Germans are known for staring so I saw no problem in staring back at the thousands of faces I came across. Everybody was from a different part of the world. Everybody had their own story and as I sat in the U-bahn, I couldn't help but wonder what their stories were and imagining the stories of the stuff they had on them. Like the tote bag this woman was wearing... when I take a peek inside I see a tin can decorated in a Christmas motif. I was pretty sure it was filled with cookies. Who were they for? Who made them? It was for me like wondering about the etymology of people.
Yesterday we went to Metro. This is like a glorified Costco, but better. You don't have to buy in bulk and things are generally cheaper here. Every time I go to these stores I can't help but think of my dad and think of how much he would enjoy looking at all the items in the store, looking at every brand, every % of trans fat. If my dad could only see one thing in Germany, I would take him here to Metro, and probably to KaDeWe too. I'm positive that he would spend the entire day in that store and never get tired.
Today I went to the flea market. I had been dreaming of this for months now. I love going to flea markets and finding small treasures. But today the snow was melting and all that was left was slush. Muddy slush from hell. On top of things I had forgotten to water proof my boots so I ended up having my feet get soaked plus with the cold it got to a point that I couldn't feel my toes anymore. It definitely made the day uncomfortable but I had a wonderful time there looking at some little shops with handmade stuff, others with stuff from China and others filled with utter junk. But one man's trash is another man's treasure and I had never understood the depth of this when I saw people calling themselves artists and looking for their own treasures among the piles of trash.
My days here in Berlin have gone by far too quickly. Every day that goes by I am more and more convinced that Germany is the place I want to one day call home. It feels like a dream to be here and I never want to wake up. I don't want to go back.
Another interesting happening was a party I was invited to. To this day I had never attended a party in Germany. Perhaps because I'm not really a party person. But this party was organized by one of the professors because he would be the DJ. I think he wanted to do a party for the sake of a party because the tickets cost only 1€ and all the drinks, beer, wine, liquor cost also 1€.
First of all I wanted to wear a dress to this thing. It was a party, was it not? Well, that's not how Germans go to party and more specifically, hipster Germans. You come as you are. Jeans are welcome, nobody really cares. But what I was more interested in was seeing how Germans dance. Germans in their natural habitat. After more than a few beers, the Germans finally get to the dance floor. What I saw there left me amazed, in shock and in wonder. Nobody can really dance, but everybody does so anyways and nobody really cares how you look like dancing. I was told by Mr.J that Germans only move their upper bodies and they can't move their feet at all. INDEED. Some of these Germans looked as if they were in the middle of a grand-mal seizure. I may have two left feet in Puerto Rico but here I was a dancing queen... no, a dancing goddess.
My highlight was not this though. I went to the bathroom once and there I met with a Spanish girl I had met before through the internet when Mr.J got himself a "buddy" or another international student paired up with a German so the German can show the international student the German way of life. I met her because before she left I had to warn her about Germany and their lack of applicators on their tampons. It was a small detail that makes SO much difference and I had to warn the poor girl of what await her. So today I finally met her face-to-face and she introduced me to another girl... a Cuban. It was wonderful to speak in Spanish again. Wonderful to have a language in common but now as we met in the bathroom I realized that we had much more in common than a language. "Oh my God, I am so fat" said the Cuban. "I need to lose weight!" I look at her in disbelief. She is skinny in my girl eyes and in her correct weight in my medical eyes. "What? You are crazy!" I say and the Spanish agrees. "I hate these mirrors!" the Cuban goes on "The beauty canon here in Europe is so different from back home!" I nod. "In Cuba they like the big hips, big ass and here it's the opposite!" I nod again. "Same in Puerto Rico, but look, you look great, and furthermore, here you are exotic! Forget it!". I smiled. No matter where we are, girls are the same. A sea may separate us, culture may separate us, but on the inside we are all insecure about our bodies, we all hate the mirrors and we all need that moment when another girl tells us we do in fact look ok, that our fat is really in our heads.











15.12.12

German Christmas pt.3

I had originally written a super duper long blog and the Blogger app on my iPad crashed and thus I lost all what I had written. I was so mad that I couldn't write anything again until now. Now because I am sleepless. It has begun to warm up here. It's more close to 40F and this means something like beach weather for Germans. The snow is melting, there is a big mess of mud/snow everywhere and then there are the lovely spots where the snow below has formed an ice cap. My feet seem to find these all the time.
I wanted to write a bit of my landing and how I came to meet up with Jonas. Now that I look back on it, it was all part of the adventure but little did I know in that moment what was about to happen.
I managed to sleep like 4 hrs on the airplane. I woke up just in time to watch "To Rome with Love" which was quite funny. Then the sun started to come out. Finally. I saw below me the earth covered in snow. Snow was everywhere and it was quite a contrast to my experience last year. I saw little gray boxes from afar, boxes that were the small towns below me. Then some patches of gray. It must have taken me 10 solid minutes to figure out they were actually trees. ha. Perhaps I had started to lose my mind at that moment.
As I was landing, I didn't feel nervous or excited. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. It felt so familiar, so homely... it felt like going home. I guess this will sound religious and whatever but you are here to read me so deal with it. I also out of nowhere saw a rainbow. It wasn't even raining. But it did remind me of God's promises and I felt secure that I was under his protection.
When I finally get out of the airplane and I started walking around the airport to reach customs, I felt happy. I was anonymous, independent... I didn't have to wait for anybody. I knew what I had to do and did it. I didn't have to look behind my back. Nobody knew me and I didn't know anybody. And it felt good.
In contrast to how things work at the airport in Puerto Rico, I didn't have to make a big line at customs and when I arrived to the baggage claim, my bag was already there. I missed the German efficiency. I moved to the next destination: the train station. I had to walk there a lot and I was really glad that I had downsized on my luggage and only brought a small bag with me on the plane. I arrived to what I believed was the right track because it said "Frankfurt City". I looked at the time table and saw that I had just missed the train but there would be another opportunity soon. I looked at the next track and in the display it said clearly "Frankfurt Hbf" (central station), where I was supposed to go. I take my bags and move to the next track and look closely only to see that this train was not coming, so I had to look for another option. The next train would leave in 15 min but I had failed to check which track I was supposed to go on.
As I am walking around the track, I see someone approach me and think "Great, here comes somebody to ask me for money" but those were not the words that came out of his mouth. He spoke English. "Excuse me!" he said in a thick accent "Do you know when the next train to Frankfurt Hauptbahnhof is?" I smiled and explained to him when the next train would come but as I did so, I went back to the time table and now he asked "Which track is it?" Then it hit me. I would have stayed on this track and miss my train. An angel.
When I arrived to the main station I had two options: north or south, left or right. So I decide to go north but as I was going to go up the stairs, these two men carrying a huge metal train part were going up those stairs and blocking my way so I decide to go south instead. Turns out that south was the right choice. I finally found my next train.
But as I am there in the next train I realized I had not been able to call Mr.J and tell him when I would be arriving because if I had done that I would have missed my train to Berlin. The next 4 hours were perhaps even longer than the 8 hrs I had spent inside the airplane. I tried desperately to find a hotspot in the train but everything failed. So now I was praying that Mr.J had the intuition of coming to the train station before he thought I would get there. And as I sat in the train, I must have pictured in my head a thousand times the moment we would be reunited. Little did I know that I would not have the Nicholas Sparks moment I wished for but more of a Murphy's Law sort of thing.
During the time in the train, I was able to admire safe inside the train, the cold weather outside. There was snow everywhere and I smiled because I felt I finally could have my white Christmas. If not I guess I would be able to enjoy the winter wonderland for a while. The skies were white... the skies fused with the snow on the ground. I saw little sleepy towns, trees covered in snow. I loved every minute of it. I wanted to take pictures of everything but then I came to the conclusion that I would have a lot of very similar pictures. My dad would certainly complain.
I am then arriving to the train station Ostbahnhof. I feel my heart racing, finally excited at the prospect of seeing the man I love after all this time away from him. I get off the train, looked everywhere and was hit with the painful reality that I would not have my Nicholas Sparks moment, that reality is not as we want it to be. So I then go to try to find a public phone. I tried calling Mr.J... nothing. I was reminded later than in order to call here you have to click on 00 before you dial the phone number. So my attempts were for nothing. I tried getting internet, that didn't seem to work either. Every time I had to put on the password I had for the T-Mobile network, and had to look for it in another app, the certification page would drop and I had to restart the whole thing again.
I was now on the very verge of tears. I didn't know if I should just grab a taxi and just get to the apartment. But what if he wasn't home? I would have to wait outside in the snow and the cold and wait until he realized I was not in the train station. I found a phone with a screen and I was able to send him a text message saying I was in the Ostbahnhof. I was so upset I failed to specify exactly where in the Ostbahnhof I was. But I tried to calm down, sat down somewhere and wrote down the password in a paper so I wouldn't have to open the app. It finally worked. I tried contacting Mr.J and a few minutes later... we were reunited. No Nicholas Sparks moment at all. And how was I supposed to explain to Mr.J that I was not immediately happy after "el malrato"  that I had been through?
After said marathon, after finally getting a proper shower, I went for dinner. Last meal I had was in the airplane like a million hours ago. Then the real adventure began.







13.12.12

German Christmas pt. 2

I wrote two paragraphs of this and somehow my iPad erased it. I don't know howI managed that so I shall try my best to recount what I had written before and still preserve some kind of level of hilarity. First of all, it's hard to type on an iPad without a keyboard. Second, my iPhone is running out of battery, the plane doesn't have any plugs and I want to save it in case of an emergency. But the possibility of an emergency is not what you're here to read about.
I sat a while at the gate and thought about how much I missed my family and also spent some time trying to figure out what the two french guys behind me talked about. I only understood "chien". Pfft. My french is definitely lacking. And then I finally moved to my next seat in the airplane, which would hold my butt for the next 8 and a half hours. And boy did I like my seat!
This morning before the flight, I went a bit psycho about being on time at the airport. 4 hours before the flight to be exact. My thought process was that Germans are a bit psycho themselves about being on time. If Germans get up at ungodly hours to "reserve" a lounge chair poolside in Mallorca by simply placing their towels on top of it, the same rule would apply here.
I got there super early, much to my mom's frustration because she kept reminding me that everything would be alright, but time would tell. And tell it did, for 30 min later, the first group of responsible Germans had arrived to make a line. Good thing I had listened to Mr.J's advice and stood my ground. I beat the Germans at their own game.
It was certainly a pleasant experience to hear the first sounds of adventure in the form of hearing Germans speak. I was quickly reminded how much I missed Germany even despite the fact that Mr.J lives there. I have, without a doubt, fallen in love with a country and its people. I can't even explain.
Back to my wonderful seat, I was sitting there, telling Mr.J that I loved my seat when lo and behold, a baby. Babies are the worst enemies to flying. And quickly he let everybody know who was in charge by starting to whine and fuss about. Woe. Is. Me.
But my ADD soon provided another distraction: the heavy accent of a Puerto Rican lady. I immediately listened in. Much to my mirth, this lady or doña was talking to a nearby english-speaking young man. A much younger man. I laughed, on the inside of course, when she told him that he looked like a movie star (he didn't) and asked him if he was in fact Leonardo DiCaprio. lol.
I dozed off for a bit until the flight attendant woke me up and asked if I wanted a complimentary drink with "wodka". I smiled.





12.12.12

German Christmas Pt. 1

So it begins! My next adventure. I want to try to write most things down so I can remember all the little details that make an adventure special. :) Right now I'm sitting at the gate and two guys are sitting behind me. They are speaking a foreign language that I can't understand. I've decided it's french and ergo I don't like them. lol kidding! There has always been a rivalry in my university between french students and german students so I sort of fell into the tradition of not liking the french language. Nothing against the french, of course! :) The ones I've met are awesome.
Anyways, I will try to update as much as I can. Right now I'm a bit nostalgic since the moment I said goodbye to my mom we both sort of started crying. Half of me is sad because I don't want to leave my family during Christmas but the other half of me is excited/nervous/happy.
Ah, confirmed, they are indeed french! :)


11.10.12

Seshen. Oct 24.2006


I awoke to find myself wrapped in a dense mist or fog. So dense was this mist, that I could not even see my feet. I had no idea of where I was. I just kept walking, with my arms extended, trying to reach out for something… a wall or… anything. Something went past my leg, rubbing itself against me. A scream caught in my throat, but I kept on walking. It seemed this fog would never subside.  I heard something now. Someone was singing. I kept listening, and I realized that the singing was more like chanting, and that the fog had a sweet, wooden smell to it. It was incense. More things started to rub against my feet and my legs. It was soft, like a fur, but still, I couldn't make out any form in the dense incense fog.
 After I kept walking, following the chanting voice, I finally reached a place where the incense was not covering anything. I got to see the chanting man, who was wearing a robe with his head shaved. A few girls where behind him carrying fruit baskets just as the priest had.  He was offering it to a stone idol, which was about six feet high and made of black granite. It was a big cat with gold earrings and necklace. I saw in the floor lots of cats wandering about, and some drinking milk in a short but large bowl. Those where the things that went past me! The priest looked at me, and made a small bow of his head but never did he stop his chant. I walked out of the temple, and remembered suddenly the name of the stone idol:  Bastet; the cat goddess of crops. I was blinded by the sudden light of the mid-day. Re was shining on us and I wished Khepri would hurry up with his job of moving the sun disk across the sky. Memory was slowly crawling back to me. I had gone to the temple of Bastet to make an offering, so the crops of my late father would grow and make good harvest. I didn't know why I even made that offering, knowing deep in my heart that the stone idol would never listen to me. I also knew that there was no such thing as 'gods' or 'goddesses'. I made the offering because of tradition. I thought of Re, Osiris and Khepri, out of tradition, not because I actually believed in any of them. But my mom sure did… and now she's dead.  Or as she would've said, she was with Osiris in the fields of Sekhet-Aaru, the Field of Reeds, and an abiding habitation in the Sekhet-hetepet; Field of Offerings. She would've been very confident that she would pass the test of the judgment of the heart and be reunited with her husband, Ptah in the afterlife. She had insisted all her life that in her sarcophagus we put ushtabis carved to the likeness of her dear slaves. I wondered for a minute if she was fine, and if she had in fact, be reunited with dad.
I recalled having gone to the temple, but fell asleep. I had not slept all night and went early to the temple. I had gone there just to please my superstitious servants, who urged me to go. Even if I did not believe, they believed. When I got out of the temple, my servant Horemhotep was waiting in the chariot for me. He had brought ta-heneket; beer and bread, for me. He knew me too well.
"N-Ka-k" He said. "To your ka", he made a toast. I drank thirstily and eat a piece of bread then spitting out a little rock that was in the bread. "I brought you this snack before the sety-r which you like so much." I smiled as I stepped into the chariot.
"Today, Horemhotep, I would like to eat lunch someplace else than my house. Do you have any recommendations?" I asked.
"Well, I do hunet Seshen. There is this little place where they serve good hippopotamus, near the Iteru."
"If it is near the river, it means that they have fish. I have no appetite for hippo." I replied. Horemhotep took us to the small, struggling place. I knew it would serve good food because Horemhotep was a fan of food as I was. I liked to come to these places, disguised as a normal woman with a coat on top of me. People often got nervous when they saw my jewelry, because it spoke of my nobility. I didn't want them to feel anxious when around me. The Nile breeze felt good against my hot face and the racing of my two black stallions Wind and Thunder. Thanks to them, we got to the place quickly. We sat near a window, in the floor, and a nice woman with long, wavy hair from Canaan served us fish. It was great as I had predicted it. Horemhotep knew how to pick the places. We left the little place, but I was not ready to come home to my duties yet. I decided to walk around the market, and shop for perfume and maybe some jewelry, which I like a lot.  After much browsing around the marketplace, I came across this beautiful vase. It gave me the idea, that I could reproduce it. I usually painted vases for my own pleasure, but never did anything about them! And my work was much better than this. Maybe I should open a shop someday, and get paid for doing something I really like. I kept on walking by the busy streets of people from all over the world; merchants, who were trying to sell me something. I smelled the spices, and drew in every color of the jewelry, tapestry and amulets. As I walked, Horemhotep was waiting for me in the chariot, knowing that I would be fine. I always did this. But now, I was not dressed as a commoner, but as myself, Isis Seshen, daughter of Ptah, the brother of the vizier. Not that it mattered right now. My father was dead, as was my mother. And I, Isis, should care of the name of my family, and take responsibility over my brother, Menkauimen. I was responsible for the grain crops and its numerous profits. It was way too much for me to handle, at such a young age and not being married yet. I knew very few people of my age that were not married, but my dad died before he could arrange it. I had to take over the estate's wealth. I had no choice.
I decided not to think of any of these things now, because it troubled me deeply. I wanted to get away from everything, and the market was just the place to do it. This market was overshadowed by the pharaoh's palace. I loved to visit the palace from time to time, when I was a little girl, but now, I had not been inside the palace's walls for about a decade. Things must have changed in the Per-AA. An idea overcame me. I wanted to see this palace once again, and be in the shadow of its sycamore trees in the royal gardens. I walked past the guards, who were obviously happy to see a young maiden.
"Ii-uy.  Inedj her-k nefer hunet, sudja ib." He welcomed me and told me that I made his heart happy. I blushed, but continued on.  It was uncommon to see a young noble, like myself, to walk unaccompanied on the palace grounds. I had no escort, no fanning servants, litter servants or shade servants with me. But I didn't care. I did not need them, and thought that having them was useless, unless I wanted to show my status.
I walked to the gardens, and a particular gate took my interest. Its gates had a lotus flower on them. They were my favorite flowers. I walked in to the garden, without the guard noticing anything. I guess he was too concentrated on some other girl. In the middle of the garden, there was a pool filled with lotus flowers and lotus blooms. I was awestruck! There were as many of them as there were stars in the gereh. I slowly approached them, overcome by the sweet scent of them that filled the air. There were blue lotus flowers, purple lotus flowers, white and pink, all filling the lotus shaped pool.
            I took a small one from the pool and took it to my nose, so I could inhale the sweet smell of it. I was just fascinated by just having a garden dedicated to my favorite flower. I remembered my mom. She was the one who picked the name, Seshen for me. It meant "The lotus one". I smiled, because she somehow knew that it was going to be my favorite flower all along.  I sat on a bench under a sycamore tree and besides the shenu trees; the acacias were in bloom. The bench had a lotus mosaic on it. I couldn't help but smiling and being happy. I sat there, just looking at the flower, entranced by its beauty.

9.10.12

Surgery

I am on the verge of finishing my surgery rotation and I have to say, I liked it less than I expected. I thought it would be a mind-boggling experience, that the skies would open and I would see an angel coming down from heaven and that the angel would tell me that this was the thing I was supposed to do for the rest of my life. Reality, of course, was much more anticlimactic. I haven't received any sort of confirmation and probably, on the contrary, I am more confused than ever.

Some things I did like were the back and forth, the up and down of going around the OR trying to catch a tiny glimpse of what the doctor was actually doing. I liked the possibility of doing different types of surgeries each day (when in real life, hernias and removing gallbladders was all they did). I dread the thought of sitting in an office and seeing patients all day. I wanna see different things, deal with different things and do new stuff each day.

I guess reality is a slap in the face and I will never get to do all of those things I wanted. I thought I had discarded surgery completely but sadly I do not know if I want to do this. It's also very sad to think that I thought I had everything worked out in my head, that I had found the specialty I would do the rest of my life but now, now it seems I have lost track of what I want to do, and more importantly, what I must do.

6.10.12

Asklepieion. Jan 19, 2006


I walk up the steps,
Slowly,
Flinching in pain,
Slowly,
With every step I take.

I see the sick lying everywhere,
Everywhere I step,
There is still hope for some,
For some, it is too late.

I evade the ever-present stench,
It makes a knot in my stomach,
As I desperately seek for a bench,
Before nausea persist in my throat.

Ah, here they are,
The temple servants come to my aid,
They better treat me nice,
For a large sum of money in offering I have made.

I hear the sobs and the cries,
I try to put my mind away,
For I cannot stand the sounds of pain,
The temple priest assures me, it will all be okay.

No doctor has found a cure,
No one could my future foretell,
I was on the verge of death,
And only at the foot of Asklepios could I hope to get well.

Have I remembered to take it all?
Was my offering here? He asked, in a way.
Sure, the rooster is not one I would lack,
I had also made the order for a giant leg of clay.

Step right up, the high priest said,
As nausea came again,
The pool of sulfur was not somewhere I wanted to get in that day,
As the lepers passed through it, just before my time today.

I flinch in pain,
The servants are readily there to help me through,
I take a deep breath,
Ill do anything to find a cure.

The high priest handed me a goblet of wine,
Right after I had left the water of sulfur,
I was sure this was more than a simple goblet of wine,
It was supposed to help me in my pain, what was I supposed to do?

The abaton was in store for me,
I sighed with utter relief,
Asclepios would surely be content and complete with me going through this snake pit.
If not, Hygea would take pity on me.

I fall into a deep sleep,
Inside this incubator, where I shall get my visit,
Asclepios will sure see me,
And I shall dream of dogs and snakes to appease him.

Snakes are coming closer,
I can hear them in the distance,
I want to scream but I find a strong resistance,
I contain myself; I certainly am not getting any younger.

Snakes are on top of me now,
I shiver with fear,
I try to wake up, but I cant
I drown.

I am awakened by a priest,
Its time to go,
Tell me what you have dreamed.

A miracle! He yells,
You are cured, Asclepios has mercy!
A roar of applaud fills the temple walls,
As the sick cling on to a little hope before their fall.

I look around, puzzled and confused,
I do not feel any better than before I came in,
I walk out, in the daze I was put on,
Maybe I should cancel the order of my giant leg for these buffoons.

Disappointment fills my head,
As I try to make sense of the place I just left,
I sigh with utter despair,
I may have to look for hope somewhere else instead.