Surgery

I am on the verge of finishing my surgery rotation and I have to say, I liked it less than I expected. I thought it would be a mind-boggling experience, that the skies would open and I would see an angel coming down from heaven and that the angel would tell me that this was the thing I was supposed to do for the rest of my life. Reality, of course, was much more anticlimactic. I haven't received any sort of confirmation and probably, on the contrary, I am more confused than ever.

Some things I did like were the back and forth, the up and down of going around the OR trying to catch a tiny glimpse of what the doctor was actually doing. I liked the possibility of doing different types of surgeries each day (when in real life, hernias and removing gallbladders was all they did). I dread the thought of sitting in an office and seeing patients all day. I wanna see different things, deal with different things and do new stuff each day.

I guess reality is a slap in the face and I will never get to do all of those things I wanted. I thought I had discarded surgery completely but sadly I do not know if I want to do this. It's also very sad to think that I thought I had everything worked out in my head, that I had found the specialty I would do the rest of my life but now, now it seems I have lost track of what I want to do, and more importantly, what I must do.