Germanic Adventures Pt. III

Berlin, city of cool.

I love public transportation for many reasons. One of them is the fact that I get to people watch, and in Berlin I can do so without shame because germans like to stare. A lot. I have seem a myriad of different people in the trains and when I am looking at them I like to picture where they came from and where they are going. Sometimes I think maybe I'm in sort of Truman Show situation and everybody is there as an actor, getting paid to appear normal. Or not.

Public transportation in Berlin is especially interesting when you are using the S-bahn. Every train station is a microcosmos. Every station is filled with different people: turkish, then african, then hipsters, then rich people. The contrasts are very strong and it makes the experience that much wonderful. It's a new world to discover and a new adventure waiting around the corner. Oh GOD I WILL MISS THIS. 

It's only been 4 days but I am thinking to myself, "Four days already?! But... I just got here!"and then it makes me extremely sad that time is slipping away through my fingers and I am not enjoying this time here to the fullest because I get out of the seminars and I am so tired that all I want to do is go home and collapse. And then I get this feeling in my stomach: fear.

The streets of Berlin

As time cruelly passes by so quickly when you're having fun, I am afraid that I will forget everything. That I will forget the feelings I get whenever I am, for example, waiting in line for a burger and I simultaneously hear british english, french, spanish from Spain and german. And how we all just blend in, how our backgrounds mean nothing, and everybody wants the same thing: a juicy burger.

I'm terrified that I will forget how this all feels, and that when the time comes to go back home, I will not remember how I felt at this moment, right now: so full of hopes, dreams, expectations and all around happiness when I am here. Berlin might just be the coolest city on earth. And to think, that the first time I came here, I didn't think it was all that. But the more I get to know the city, the background, the inner workings, the history and what it has been through, the more I love it. The more I fall in love... and the less I want to go back home, because heck, this is home. And I never feel this at home when I am in Puerto Rico. I feel I never fit, or that I can't relate to my fellow countrymen.

But enough about my ramblings and feelings, and more about what happened today. It is my second day at the summer school and I arrive early because I never know when the train will be late and when the bus will not come. It seems that it takes me a solid 40 minutes to get to the building but somehow it feels like 5 minutes. Nobody is there and I get some time to cool off. It doesn't matter that this morning was 57F when I got on my way, I always seem to be sweating like a pig when I get to places. Soon, the rest of the students make their way to the room, new familiar faces and I get a renewed sense of actually liking my profession, and I care about saving lives once more.

One thing that stroke me as interesting is how much experience with patients these people get at their respective parts of the world, which makes me think about the way they teach us medicine in my part of the world. Whereas we're being educated to basically pass the licensing exam, these students are being taught about dosages, what to do in what situation and I am in complete awe. It's amazing how much I have learned in two days from my colleagues, and I feel like I will be a better doctor for it. Maybe a small part of me wishes we could all practice medicine together in the same place one day.

Trauma patient. He looked a bit pale. 

Another thing I liked about today was a simulation we did with a cardiac arrest inside an airplane. I've always thought about what to do if such situation arose and training in this in small simulations (even if it's with a mannequin that gives me the creeps), kind of calms me down because I know that deep inside I really know what to do.  Even though at most emergency situations I think I would freeze, maybe when it comes down to it I will be able to stand my ground and do something about the situation.

Exhibit 1: the creepy mannequin.

Exhibit 2: Airplane! 

Also, we were taught on how to triage. I never knew this was such an interesting thing! I learned so much. But what really made this experience memorable was learning how people do these things in Israel, or Egypt. Comparing cultures and learning how other people do things, will definitely make the medicine I practice better. I think we should all sit down together and work on how to have international standards and that way we can take the best qualities of everybody and do better medicine.

Finally, my favorite part: obstetric emergencies. We were taught how to deliver a baby. This was an amazing experience and I think I will treasure this one the most. It made me very excited about my possible career in obstetrics and gynecology. I can definitely say that this course, apart from all that I have learned in the academic aspect, has given me new strengths to finish what I started, get my stuff together and do it.

Delivering the fake alien baby. 

Germanic Adventures Pt.II

Ever since I got here, I have been trying to soak everything in. Every little crack on the sidewalk, every leaf, every little detail, since I know I won't be back soon. It's a very weird feeling, being here. It's a sense of blending in, because everyone else is from somewhere else, and at the same time, it's impersonal. There are so many people here, who do you call a friend? But, you do make friends, in the faces of strangers you find a kindred soul, because they, too, are foreigners, and everybody is dying to tell you their story. It's a sense of being home and at the same time of being anonymous. It's sweet and delicious, it's frightening and exhilarating. It's peace among the chaos of people. And there is nowhere else I'd rather be. How can you be homesick for someplace you have never properly called home?

One of the many Charité buildings

Today I started the disaster medicine course. I went in there feeling a bit nervous, being a first day of school and all. But I was so happy to be there, because I had a second chance at having a student exchange experience. After being here in 2009, only for one semester, I left wanting more... one more day, one more week, one more semester. So now, I would have, even if only for two weeks, the experience I cherish the most, my most favorite thing to do in the world: meeting new people from different countries, exchanging experiences, new friendships, new places to stay if we ever travel to that particular corner of the world.

And I was not disappointed.

At first, not everybody would talk to me, since I got there a day late and nobody knew me. But then, slowly but surely everybody else was curious. And the most curious and daring of all was a group of lovely, charismatic italian girls. How easily did I feel at home, among these girls who come from a completely different background, but somehow, all the same. Maybe it's the mediterranean temperament as Mr.J likes to call it.

Got in there early because I was afraid of getting lost. 

Furthermore, being there the second day of the course and already behind, I was thrown into deep water and told to swim. I had no background and had to rely on others to help me out. Something I'm not always comfortable with, being the kind of person that likes to do everything by myself. I think I learned more about myself than Advanced Life Support.

Conversations were had, stories exchanged, cultures clashed with each other. It was amazing. And I can't wait to do it all over again tomorrow. That is, if I can get up in the morning! The jetlag, my anemia, me packing everything that I think I will need yet never use in my bag, my legs not being used to walking... well, you get the picture.

My colleagues: people who know more than I do.

Germanic Adventures

I have a love/hate relationship with airports. What airports giveth, airports taketh away. The airport takes me to Germany but also brings me back to Puerto Rico, away from Mr.J. When I was little, I used to love airports, because it usually meant one thing: vacations. Now that I am here in Germany, it has brought me close to Mr.J but vacations is the last thing I'll be doing here.

My most recent experience: Premium Economy

Before I go to the airport, I go through every little detail in my head, trying to anticipate what could happen. In my mind, I am a fabulous jetsetter almost hovering through the airport security and making it to the gate unscathed. This has never happened. For example, this time I did my hair before going to the airport in hopes of walking into Mr.J's arm with Pantene commercial hair... by the time I got to the gate I was sweating like a pig from carrying around my heavy computer (which is enabling me to write this!) and the myriad of things I think I will need but rarely use. My makeup had melted away, my hair was a mix of grease, frizz and I was hungry, but the airport was so warm that the only thing I could manage to eat was a gelato, my lactose intolerance be damned. To make things worse, the bronzer I had in my purse broke, filling my purse with makeup. I regretted the moment where my mom asked me if I needed napkins before we left and I said no.

And as always, I have something to tell about my experiences in the airplanes. Last time when I came to PR, I had the worst experience ever. I couldn't reserve online a seat, so when I got there at 6am (departure 11am), all the seats were taken. No window seat for me, no emergency seat for me, almost to the back of the plane and the airplane was packed full of people. I got a place next to a Spanish man who seemed uncomfortable to be next to me. Also next to me across the aisle there were some nice old ladies whom I helped stuff their heavy bags in the overhead compartments. The plane was full, I was super warm, and babies... lots of babies.

Good-bye Puerto Rico, and GOOD RIDDANCE! 

I don't know what I'll do when I have them, but having screaming babies in a very small space with absolutely NOWHERE to go, it can get pretty intense in there. And what I mean by intense was my hate of babies. Maybe they should have a separate area like they do on trains. Why has nobody come up with this yet? Maybe they have, but I am not aware of it.

So, being on the aisle seat, I had nowhere to rest my head, nowhere to run from the babies, puerto ricans screaming to each other across the aisles, a huge guy standing in front of me blocking the view from the TV thing. It was a horrible experience.

After this I had to book another ticket, and this time I said, NEVER AGAIN, and paid extra for the Premium Economy section. My pocket suffered a bit, and I really questioned my judgment after paying for it, buyer's remorse galore. But, after finally experiencing it yesterday, I can say it was worth every single penny.

Hello, cloud!

I didn't have any encounter with a passenger (except wanting to hit the lady behind me who was sneezing without covering her mouth, which is probably what gave me the cold I have now) , I was basically left alone... had my own big seat, could reserve ahead of time my window seat on the left side of the plane (because I normally sleep on my left side) and the food was amazing. How have I been traveling any other way? I may never go back to regular ol' economy again.

Appetizer, Entree, Dessert. YES!

I got out quickly, passed through customs quickly, waited for my bag and next thing I knew, I was hugging Mr.J. 9 hrs of flight were nothing. But my hair was nowhere near Pantene quality. And Mr.J, being the guy that he is, didn't even notice I had a little makeover done before I traveled and I had asked my mom not to put pictures on FB as to not to ruin the surprise. Well, I was the surprised one when after 20 min of being together Mr.J had not figured out a single thing with my hair. I had to point it out. Who got upset? I did. Quite. I could see Mr.J's face transform from surprise to OMGWHATHAVEIDONE?! when I pointed out the fact that my hair was indeed different.

To be continued...

German Christmas pt. 8

Next thing I knew, it was Christmas. Well, Christmas Eve to be more exact. They don't really celebrate the actual Christmas day here but they make the party the 24th. So I awoke to a hectic house. Preparations. Preparations. Preparations. In Mr.J's house they have a preparty party, where the mom makes lots of cake, lots of coffee and gifts and conversation are exchanged.
As I made myself ready I could hear all the drama downstairs but I was glad I didn't understand what was going on. The German was too fast for me and my vocabulary never seems to be enough. Some of what I did understand was that the mom told Mr.J's sister to get some chairs from upstairs, she didn't want to and told Mr.J to do it but Mr.J was too busy figuring out how the iron worked so he could iron his pants. A lot of scary angry German language ensued and thus I experienced true fear. You have never experienced fear until you've experienced Germans yelling at each other over God-knows-what.
But things calmed down and I went downstairs as soon as I heard the first guests at the door. Soon the house was full of laughter, cake, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and Lotti, Mr.J's dog.lotti was dressed as Santa Claus and spent the afternoon trying to avoid Lutzi the Pug who also came to visit. Apparently they are mortal enemies.
I spent the afternoon trying to understand what people were saying and it was exhausting. I don't think my brain could take it anymore. But also, I spent the afternoon cooking the turkey for the night. I had seen the huge turkey the night before and thought that we should take it out but Mr.J said no and by the time it arrived to the house the next day it was still frozen. I thought we would need a Christmas miracle if we wanted to eat that day but an hour later the turkey was ready to be prepared and put in the oven. Mr.J had asked me how we prepare the turkey in Puerto Rico and of course because I had never actually done this I had to ask my mom. After I told Mr.J how we actually do it he felt the Germans wouldn't want the ridiculous amount of garlic we use. I'm not gonna lie, I was a bit offended! Why would he ask me how to prepare the turkey if he didn't want to use my techniques? By the time we had to prepare the turkey he realized how silly he was and we put some garlic. It smelled delicious. We also incorporated a technique we use in Puerto Rico and that is taking an injection and injecting the turkey with its own juices. Every 30 min we did this and so it occupied most of the afternoon.
Then came Christmas dinner which is held at the house of Mr.J's sister. I wasn't hungry. I had a cheesecake binge during the day! So while the turkey cooked some more I played with Mr.J's niece.

German Christmas pt. 7

Continuing on with the good stories, coming back to Werne was like coming back home. I felt comfortable, everything felt familiar and good. I wanted to be here and it felt like I was always supposed to come here.
I was greeted by Lotti, the Italian mutt. She doesn't speak italian though! She happily barked and I was so glad to see her. It felt like I was cheating on Mr.Baby. But I was also so glad to see everybody else and to be greeted in such a warm way like the Puerto Ricans do, people actually glad to see you back. It felt like happiness.
The next day we had to get up super early so we could have time to visit Aachen. Today was the only day people actually could come with us and before the Christmas Markets closed on the 23rd. It was early so there was no sunlight yet, but I was full of expectations of what awaited me in Aachen, a city I had not seen when I was studying in Germany. I was also filled with the thrill of the new adventure. By the time we arrived to the train station, morning was upon us. Kamen has a small train station and we waited there by the bakery for a few minutes. It smelled so delicious. It served only to remind me how hard it is to carry a diet when such things like pudding pretzels covered in icing exist here. First stop was Bochum, where we met with half of the group. I was glad to meet with old friends and meet new ones. Then we took a regional train to Aachen... I remembered the first time I went to Cologne in one of these and this was the same route. These trains were always super full and this train was no exception. But we managed to find seats, which was a bit hard for one in our group who is 2 meters tall.
Two hours later we arrived at Aachen. We were greeted by the second part of the group, a beautiful couple from Vietnam. I was finally able to speak a bit more English and their German was surprisingly easier to understand. First stop there was the Lindt outlet. Let me repeat this... LINDT. OUT. LET. Chocolate outlet? I didn't even know these existed... let alone Lindt... delicious Lindt chocolate.
As we arrived there, we were supposed to smell the smell of chocolate but today it started raining and it is holidays so I couldn't smell anything. Inside the store there were all classes of Lindt chocolate I had not even seen before. I thought I wasn't going to buy anything, but these thoughts were useless as I saw there was 99% cacao chocolate which I thought my dad would love. All I did was buy chocolate to bring back home.
Next stop was another outlet. This time it was Lambertz, what Mr.J called the "kingpin of sweets in Germany". Here we bought Printen, a traditional Aachen cookie. Also Mr.J bought some Dominos cookies which are filled with marzipan, a horrible fruit jelly and a cookie, all covered in chocolate.
The day was gray and as we got out of this outlet, it started raining harder. We took a bus into town and now I could see all the old houses and traditional architecture that I was waiting to see. We decided to go eat first to this Lebanese restaurant but it was too full and the weather was too bad to go outside with the food. We kept looking and looking and everything was either full or closed. We ended up inside a mall, and ate... a burger. :) I guess with the rain and the trouble with finding a place to eat, comfort food was all we needed.
After this we carried on to the Aachen cathedral, where Charlemagne is buried. From outside it doesn't look like much and it is much smaller compared to other cathedrals like the one in Cologne. But inside, the real treasure lied. So. much. GOLD. All the ceiling was full of mosaics with real gold. Different patterns, different colors, everything was beyond beautiful. This certainly made the weather and the trek there worthwhile.
But the weather carried on. It was cold, it rained, there was no more sun. I didn't feel any more adventurous, I just wanted to go home. After looking around the Christmas market, we went home. I guess nobody was enjoying themselves anymore either. Everything was full, there was nowhere to sit and nowhere to go. We then went home.

German Christmas pt.6

Christmas time has been quite hectic and I haven't had much time to sit down and think about what I've been through. I am trying to enjoy every moment for I know that my time here is running out.
Every time I come to Germany I fall more and more in love with it. Even with its recycled toilet paper that sometimes feels like cardboard, even with it's unspoken rules of how to properly open the door and I was not aware of it, I have even gotten used to the stares! Germans love to stare.
This time, my German was perhaps a fraction better (there is still a lot of space for improvement!) and I could see how the people I had met before are even more funny than I thought. And how the people that I didn't like much before, I like now even less.
The other day I was with Mr.J and we met some of his friends at his apartment. I guess we were going to go out later but Germans meet somewhere else first to catch up and catch up on beers. So I met some of Mr.J's people and it was interesting to see how the themes we don't talk about with friends back home as to save the friendships (namely politics and religion) are pretty common topics here and people think nothing wrong with discussing and attacking other people's beliefs. Germans are so direct as to scathe. German humor is also direct and back home I would think "¿De dónde sacó éste tanta confianza para hablarme así?", but here my Puerto Rican skin would have to thicken in order not to feel offended.
There was a moment in the endless stream of German conversation that I realized they were going too fast, that I didn't understand where words began and others ended, that I didn't understand at all what they were talking about, not even the main topic. I was reminded of this episode I saw of the series "Switched at Birth". If you haven't seen it, they deal beautifully with deaf people and the problems they face. The scene I was reminded of was when the deaf kid was surrounded by hearing kids and they were all laughing and making jokes but he couldn't understand, he couldn't read lips and the camera zooms into his point of view and all sound goes out. This is how I felt at this moment. And nobody seemed to notice/mind/care.
On to nicer stories...
The next day I went back to Mr.J's hometown and it was unusually warm for this time of the year. Even though it was dark outside when we were driving, I remembered the streets and houses and I remembered the lights in the windows and the Christmas decorations. But it was not going to be a white Christmas this year like I hoped for! When we finally got home, it felt just like that... Home.

German Christmas pt.3

I had originally written a super duper long blog and the Blogger app on my iPad crashed and thus I lost all what I had written. I was so mad that I couldn't write anything again until now. Now because I am sleepless. It has begun to warm up here. It's more close to 40F and this means something like beach weather for Germans. The snow is melting, there is a big mess of mud/snow everywhere and then there are the lovely spots where the snow below has formed an ice cap. My feet seem to find these all the time.
I wanted to write a bit of my landing and how I came to meet up with Jonas. Now that I look back on it, it was all part of the adventure but little did I know in that moment what was about to happen.
I managed to sleep like 4 hrs on the airplane. I woke up just in time to watch "To Rome with Love" which was quite funny. Then the sun started to come out. Finally. I saw below me the earth covered in snow. Snow was everywhere and it was quite a contrast to my experience last year. I saw little gray boxes from afar, boxes that were the small towns below me. Then some patches of gray. It must have taken me 10 solid minutes to figure out they were actually trees. ha. Perhaps I had started to lose my mind at that moment.
As I was landing, I didn't feel nervous or excited. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. It felt so familiar, so homely... it felt like going home. I guess this will sound religious and whatever but you are here to read me so deal with it. I also out of nowhere saw a rainbow. It wasn't even raining. But it did remind me of God's promises and I felt secure that I was under his protection.
When I finally get out of the airplane and I started walking around the airport to reach customs, I felt happy. I was anonymous, independent... I didn't have to wait for anybody. I knew what I had to do and did it. I didn't have to look behind my back. Nobody knew me and I didn't know anybody. And it felt good.
In contrast to how things work at the airport in Puerto Rico, I didn't have to make a big line at customs and when I arrived to the baggage claim, my bag was already there. I missed the German efficiency. I moved to the next destination: the train station. I had to walk there a lot and I was really glad that I had downsized on my luggage and only brought a small bag with me on the plane. I arrived to what I believed was the right track because it said "Frankfurt City". I looked at the time table and saw that I had just missed the train but there would be another opportunity soon. I looked at the next track and in the display it said clearly "Frankfurt Hbf" (central station), where I was supposed to go. I take my bags and move to the next track and look closely only to see that this train was not coming, so I had to look for another option. The next train would leave in 15 min but I had failed to check which track I was supposed to go on.
As I am walking around the track, I see someone approach me and think "Great, here comes somebody to ask me for money" but those were not the words that came out of his mouth. He spoke English. "Excuse me!" he said in a thick accent "Do you know when the next train to Frankfurt Hauptbahnhof is?" I smiled and explained to him when the next train would come but as I did so, I went back to the time table and now he asked "Which track is it?" Then it hit me. I would have stayed on this track and miss my train. An angel.
When I arrived to the main station I had two options: north or south, left or right. So I decide to go north but as I was going to go up the stairs, these two men carrying a huge metal train part were going up those stairs and blocking my way so I decide to go south instead. Turns out that south was the right choice. I finally found my next train.
But as I am there in the next train I realized I had not been able to call Mr.J and tell him when I would be arriving because if I had done that I would have missed my train to Berlin. The next 4 hours were perhaps even longer than the 8 hrs I had spent inside the airplane. I tried desperately to find a hotspot in the train but everything failed. So now I was praying that Mr.J had the intuition of coming to the train station before he thought I would get there. And as I sat in the train, I must have pictured in my head a thousand times the moment we would be reunited. Little did I know that I would not have the Nicholas Sparks moment I wished for but more of a Murphy's Law sort of thing.
During the time in the train, I was able to admire safe inside the train, the cold weather outside. There was snow everywhere and I smiled because I felt I finally could have my white Christmas. If not I guess I would be able to enjoy the winter wonderland for a while. The skies were white... the skies fused with the snow on the ground. I saw little sleepy towns, trees covered in snow. I loved every minute of it. I wanted to take pictures of everything but then I came to the conclusion that I would have a lot of very similar pictures. My dad would certainly complain.
I am then arriving to the train station Ostbahnhof. I feel my heart racing, finally excited at the prospect of seeing the man I love after all this time away from him. I get off the train, looked everywhere and was hit with the painful reality that I would not have my Nicholas Sparks moment, that reality is not as we want it to be. So I then go to try to find a public phone. I tried calling Mr.J... nothing. I was reminded later than in order to call here you have to click on 00 before you dial the phone number. So my attempts were for nothing. I tried getting internet, that didn't seem to work either. Every time I had to put on the password I had for the T-Mobile network, and had to look for it in another app, the certification page would drop and I had to restart the whole thing again.
I was now on the very verge of tears. I didn't know if I should just grab a taxi and just get to the apartment. But what if he wasn't home? I would have to wait outside in the snow and the cold and wait until he realized I was not in the train station. I found a phone with a screen and I was able to send him a text message saying I was in the Ostbahnhof. I was so upset I failed to specify exactly where in the Ostbahnhof I was. But I tried to calm down, sat down somewhere and wrote down the password in a paper so I wouldn't have to open the app. It finally worked. I tried contacting Mr.J and a few minutes later... we were reunited. No Nicholas Sparks moment at all. And how was I supposed to explain to Mr.J that I was not immediately happy after "el malrato"  that I had been through?
After said marathon, after finally getting a proper shower, I went for dinner. Last meal I had was in the airplane like a million hours ago. Then the real adventure began.